When it comes to entertainment, perhaps the word “phenomenon” is overused. Yet it’s not a stretch to say that exactly what CBS’ Survivor was in the early 2000’s. An odd blend of Gilligan’s Island, Lord of the Flies, and chess all blended into a game, the USA and beyond fell in love to record ratings. Although far from it’s peak as a quintessential part of American culture, the show has gradually evolved and made it to 45 seasons and counting of weird, wild, and wacky moments in the wilderness, not to mention several versions worldwide.
For readers who haven’t seen the show, let me give you the skinny: a diverse group of people are stranded in a remote and exotic location where they start over and live off the land for 39 (now, regrettably, 26) days. The group is divided into 2 or more teams called “tribes” by the show that initially compete against each other in physical or mental challenges every couple of days. Some challenges are for rewards such as supplies to help the survival or food, and others are for immunity, the right to avoid a date with Hostess with the Mostess Jeff Probst at Tribal Council. Here, losing tribes are forced to vote off one player, for any reason. One by one the game shrinks until about half of the group remains, when the tribes merge into one group. The game and challenges become individual, with usually only one winner. In addition, those voted off start to form a jury who will vote on the winner between the Final 2 or Final 3 players. The winner earns the title of Sole Survivor; oh, and they also take home a cool $1,000,000 in cold, hard greenbacks! I hope to soon do a piece on which seasons and what order are best for new fans to start out with!
I think what continues to make Survivor so dang popular is that it has something to appeal to all tastes. Camping, sports, romance, petty drama, outrageous laughs, and seeing people push past their breaking points: Survivor has it all and more. I came of age just after the initial popularity was starting to die down, and just recently finished going back and catching the final season I missed (shoutout Thailand ya filthy animal!). With that, I think it’s time to definitively rank each of the first 40 seasons head-to-head. This list is solely my opinion and not objective in the slightest, but I’m going based off how fun a season is primarily, while also looking at strategy, the challenges, the cast, location, and twists thrown into the game. I’m also not ranking the so-called “New Era” seasons of 41 and beyond, because I’m cranky about knocking 13 days off the game time and don’t feel 26 day Survivor is the same show.
SPOILER ALERT: I do chat about the outcomes of the seasons, so if you care to go unspoiled on a season, please gloss over everything after the pictures.
Click the links below to skip to a section of the countdown:
#40 – Edge of Extinction (season 38)
One big swing and miss
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Survivor: Edge of ExtinctionOh, sweet, dear Edge. Someone had to be last and unfortunately it’s you.
I am of the belief that Survivor’s Jumping the Shark moment happened with the Final 4 fire challenge reveal during Season 35’s finale. But if that was Jumping the Shark, this was running right through it and obliterating it. I disagree with The Wardog: the theme should have been on trial because the theme is dumb. Not just as final tribal council when it was brought up, but throughout the season. All you really need to ponder is that the winner of the season played Survivor for 12 days, and the runners-up played for all 39.
The Edge, which allowed voted-out players a shot to return to the game twice, theoretically provided a tougher experience than the actual game. But what the producers didn’t factor in is how a) the eliminated players avoided the brain-drain and mind-f***ery that occurs from playing the game for real, and b) they got to bond over their shared rage at being voted out for weeks. And then the jury consisted of the entire cast who stayed on the Edge, including some who had never gotten to play with or know with some of the finalists. I feel genuinely bad for Gavin, who I feel deserved better.
The Edge was a double-edged sword when it came the television show: it allowed early boots who would have become quickly forgotten to become major players and incredible characters (REEM!) it also took up so much time in the episodes that many of the players remaining deep into the game received very little time to get to know them, including two of the three finalists.
Some other things that were less than fun included a finale in which giving up immunity somehow became a viable, even encouraged strategy, the odd cast balance of 14 newbies and 4 returning players, and some serious allegations. Mostly it’s just pretty boring, the worst offense possible.
I swear to God dude I will dropkick you. So lame. That’s just freakin’ lame.”
-Reem
I will be making fire against Rick Devens tonight.”
-Chris
#39 – Island of the Idols (season 39)
Is all publicity really good publicity?
How is this not last? I prefer when Survivor makes me feel some emotion, even anger, as opposed to just apathy. I am riverted how it can explore human nature and provide a microcosm of society, even its uglier and darker aspects. For that reason, I was fascinated by how this season unfolded and by the reactions of both the contestants and the production team to the actions of THAT one contestant. As much as I was feeling a roller coaster of emotions, I would rather be upset than bored. Full disclaimer: I have never been a victim of any assault or harassment, especially of a sexual kind, so that totally skews how I viewed this season’s “entertainment”, and my heart goes out to any victims who had to relive traumatic moments while watching their favorite reality show.
The actual twist was so insane it felt like a parody of Survivor, complete with giant, 50-foot tall statues of two legends of the game. What Yet it kind of worked. Although Survivor School proved to be no match for Teaching Time with Tommy, the commentary from up in the bird’s nest at tribal councils from two of the funniest players ever was genius.
We also need to talk about a character who, on any other season, would have become a legend. Of course I could only be talking about the one and only Dean Kowalski, aka Detective Dean, aka DKChillin, aka DKVillain. The man to pimp out his Instagram handle on the show. Criminally underrated. He had me from the moment he asked his entire tribe if they were splitting the vote that night. He bumbled and stumbled through the game, mixing moments that made you go “No! No! Yes!” with moments that made you go “Yes! Yes! No!” And then out of nowhere, he turned on the heat in the last couple of days – showing up at tribal council decked out in immunity bling. I was enthralled. We really need more agents of pure chaos on the show.
As much as I love DK, his playing of the Idol Nullifier, the worst twist in the history of the first 40 seasons which allowed a person to cancel the effect of a Hidden Immunity Idol, ruined what would have been the most satisfying possible conclusion: a Janet win. The poor woman tanked her own game willingly to stand by her fellow woman in what she was told was a time of real need, and with how brutal and beyond-the-game the fallout ended up being, I’m amazed she pulled it back together and put herself in a great position down the stretch. For most viewers, her BS elimination was the final straw for season 39.
Jack and Jamal’s nuanced and complex discussion of race provided the emotional high point of the season, and ended up being a really beautiful moment that culminated with the two becoming so close they ended up becoming roommates after the season.
I hope to find some love in this life that equals Karishma’s for Appleby’s.
DKChillin is now DKVillain!”
-DKChillin
I’m a busted can of biscuits!”
-Elaine
#38 – Ghost Island (season 36)
Apart from one all-time episode, a snoozer.
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Survivor: Ghost IslandThere was something in this season; I always feel like if the editors had foregone trying to make this season all strategy all the time and just focused on fun scenes with the zanier characters, Ghost Island could have actually worked. As presented, it may have been the most boring season week-to-week ever (whispers Naviti Strong over and over). All except for one, glorious, poetic episode: the merge. 44 minutes of TV so great it drags the season up a couple of spots.
To set the stage: the entire season had been building toward a clash between the dominant alliance, Dom and Wendell, vs. famed rapper, Chris “The Noble One” Noble. When Chris was gifted a hidden immunity idol at the start of the episode, it looked like he would pull of a stunning victory over the two cunning strategists. As night fell and the torches were lit, the stage was set for a season-defining move. The votes were cast, and the national held its bated breath as Chris would surely guarantee his safety not play his idol. That, by the way, was only good for one more tribal council…
Once Chris left, the season ceased to have any real drama all the way up to the final tribal council, which was admittedly wild as we watched Dom’s surefire victory evaporate in real time against Wendell’s great performance and the proceeding, history-making tie that followed. Instead of strategy talks that went nowhere, I really wish we had just spent those episodes on funny moments at camp, letting us get to know the players better and making it more emotional when they inevitably did get voted off. Sea Bass and Jenna’s island lovin’? Barely hinted at. Show us something of Angela and Chelsea. Show something else of Michael and Kellyn rather than playing the same quotes on repeat for weeks on end.
In the end, the island filled with relics of older seasons just served as a reminder of how much better the originals were.
Shoutout James Lim though. Not sure why you popped into my head, but that move you made to vote out Morgan is criminally underrated. The only person to metaphorically land a shot on Dom and Wendell’s dominance all season long.
Dominick and Wendell were pitching me BS. I ‘m too suave to buy it.”
-Chris Noble
We won a lot together—respect for that. But socially, you don’t know what you’re doing. I hope you stop saying “I” so much. I hope you start listening to people. Oh yeah, and finally, somebody had to say it. I’ll say it. Stop rapping; you’re trash… at rapping. You’re garbage at rapping. You can’t rap, you’ve got no bars. Put the mic down bro, put the pen down bro. Use an eraser.””
-Wendell
#37 – Redemption Island (season 22)
If “meh” was a season.
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Survivor: Redemption IslandThe idea of having a second chance in the game was interesting enough, and if Redemption Island ended at the merge like the prior Outcast twist, I think it could have worked. But the season dragged hard after Russell predictably got axed early, leading to several forgettable episodes where nothing of note happened and a horrendous finale with 8 people left in the game at the start of the show. If one word summed up this season: dull.
As with any season, it wasn’t without its moments, however few and brief they were. Boston Rob delivered as always with his cutting confessionals, peaking with throwing an idol clue into an active volcano. The Buddy System was both hilarious and innovative at first. The first three episodes were genuinely dope, leading to Russell’s comeuppance which was as satisfying as it was predictable, and ally Stephanie’s pettiness and snark afterwards added some spice. And Matt’s story – his up-and-down relationship with Rob, his brief love connection with Andrea, and his spiritual journey on Redemption Island – provided an emotional core for the season.
As with Game Changers coming up, one event would have bumped this season way up in the rankings. In fact, it may have even cracked the top 10 if Phillip Shepherd had revealed his “Specialist” character, abrasive persona, and unique underwear were all a ploy to get dragged to the end as a goat, and then took it all back and revealed it was all an act to a jury that seemed desperate not to vote for the returning player to win. It would have been the greatest long con of all time, but sadly that’s not what we got: we just got the other finalists giving all the credit for getting there to that same returning player. The winner played as perfect a game as you could ask, but he also had a massive advantage going on.
Let it be a lesson to you. Government jobs? Stressful!”
-Boston Rob
To hell with you!”
-Phillip
#36 – Game Changers (season 34)
The season that should never have happened.
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Survivor: Game ChangersOh, sweet, dear Game Changers. The whole cast feels like a fever dream, split between genuine legends and some players that made you think, “Who is that again?” The twists were just plain odd: no tied votes, changing the final Tribal Council format because Probst was pissy Michele won to shake things up, two tribes going to the same tribal council together. There was Cochran chilling on a boat for some reason! There was a legend getting “voted out” with no votes cast against them. Apparently Troyzan played!
There are more problems with this season than any other, in my humble opinion. The cast was so tilted that it was inevitable the legends would get picked off early, All-Stars style. Malcolm and Cirie’s boots were BS of the highest order, even by reality TV standards. The only good thing that came out of the outing was a book deal teachable moment that ended with a somewhat heartwarming respond by the rest of the tribe when it could have gone an even darker direction (and this is coming from someone who likes when Survivor gets dark and dirty!).
Anytime you get some legendary characters on Survivor Island, there are always going to be at least some positives, so we leave this entry with some of them: Sandra verbally owning Tony with the incredible “I’m here” speech, Sandra stealing the sugar and not getting caught, JT stranding his tribe on the raft (poor guy needs his Stephen!), Debbie’s “And I’m pissed” line, and Michaela and Cirie’s touching and insightful conversation on race and gender. Sarah came back from her fall in Cagayan and put on a masterclass in playing like a criminal making and breaking personal relationships.
If Ozzy, Sandra, or Tony had won the Cochran-on-a-boat reward, this season would automatically have moved up several spots.
Your only the King until the Queen arrives. I’m here!”
-Sandra
Terrible game move. You suck at this game. I hope I see you never.”
-Andrea
#35 – One World (season 24)
A dull season with a great winner
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Survivor: One WorldEven though she is often mentioned among the great winners, I think Kim is still a lil’ underrated. She blew away a lot of strong women who had good shouts to win themselves and never came close to being in trouble all game long. Seriously: Sabrina and Chelsea could have both been fine winners in their own right, and Kim just ran away with the whole dang thing.
We also had Kat to keep things loose, which was desperately needed with how boring everything else was. Her blindside, right after popping off about her love of blindsides, was high on the entertainment scale. We also had the BLT bacon discovery, the puppy crawling to her cousin, and telling Troyzan to shut up.
On the lesser side, Troyzan and Tarzan’s humor didn’t land for me as much as maybe others (although the fact that casting put these two on the same season was hilarious). The men somehow buckling to Colton and giving up immunity, and then voting out Bill during the dark tribal council that followed, was not fun. I’m also not a fan that they gave up on the season’s most interesting idea: having both tribes living together on one beach and being constantly in-tune with each other. It was a really neat twist that was just beginning to get interesting when they split everyone up like usual. Ho-hum.
Could this brilliant man, who’s wearing panties on his head, be playing us the entire time?”
-Sabrina
Blindsides are always fun and exciting!”
-Kat
#34 – Caramoan-Fans vs. Favorites (season 26)
There is a great season buried in there somewhere.
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Survivor: Caramoan – Fans Vs. FavoritesThe casting process was odd: we got a Fans vs. Favorites-themed season where most of the “fans” weren’t really fans of the show and most of the “favorites” really stretched the definition of fan-favorite. Sadly, it was a sign of things to come.
The list of positives is shorter than normal: we had some fun arcs with Francesca getting voted off first (again), Erik giving up immunity (again), and Phillip going all in on Stealth-R-Us nicknames (again). The tribal council where the Three Amigos made their big power move was ahoot (even though they blew all their immunity idols in the process). This is also the last season where the challenges really feel unique and like they had a lot of heart and soul put into them and, consequently, were a blast to watch. Also shoutout Tata the Bushman – real ones remember.
Unfortunately, the whole thing just felt a little off. Poor Brandon didn’t seem remotely in the right headspace to play Survivor, and Shamar seemed to be struggling at times too. Those two, plus Phillip, just weren’t enjoyable to watch. Even from before the merge, Cochran seemed like the clear favorite to win just based on how often we saw him on screen. Once Andrea left, it was practically wrapped up in my mind, as the only remaining contestants that had a chance to win were basically ignored all season long. Heck, we didn’t even get a real explanation as why Erik left in the finale, and he had a legit shot at getting redemption and scoring the dub! The reunion wasn’t even whipped cream on s***; those that didn’t make the jury got stuck in the Loser’s Lodge off-stage and 3/4 of the players got ignored.
A season that had some fun moments and a good winner, but one can’t shake the feeling it should have been something great if tried showing more than 3 people for 95% of the show.
I was going to flip for a gay and 3 hotties. That’s Corinne handbook 101. But in this game you gotta take some risks and sometimes they don’t pan out. The thing I’m most proud of is that I’m exactly who you think I am…and maybe worse.”
-Corinne
I don’t wanna engage in any masculine tomfoolery with these numbskulls!”
-Cochran
#33 – Thailand (season 5)
The Iceman Cometh
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Survivor: ThailandAny discussion of Thailand starts and ends with Mr. Freeze, the Iceman himself, Brian Heidik. A highly successful used-car salesman (and part-time adult film actor!) coming into the game, he said from the off he was there for a business trip and meant it. I would love to chat with the man someday, because his way of playing Survivor was almost chilling in how he could flip the switch from humble, fun, caring Brian with his tribe to cold, emotionless, robot Brian when secretly giving his confessionals. Despite how much he preached to his tribe how much he cared about them, he had zero problem cutting anyone if they proved a threat. He had an impressive ability to bond with the rest of the cast, using how he perceived them based on how they looked, their job, or where they were from. All while that happened, off to the side he seemed mildly amused about the actions of his tribemates in an almost dissociative manner. I genuinely have no clue how else to put it; he is a different kind of guy. And in 39 days, he was almost perfect, failing only one, near-fatal time: with NYC cop Ken.
Let’s set the scene at the beginning of the finale: Brian is clear through to the victory he was sure was always going to be his anyway. Only Helen provided any threat to his dominance, and Helen didn’t listen to her husband’s misgivings about Brian and stayed true to him until it was too late. With an infuriated Helen out, Brian then wins one of the greatest challenges ever: a balancing challenge in a fire-lit cave that looked more like a torture device than anything. He picks to take Clay to the finals, knowing how disliked Clay was to over half the jury. At the final tribal council is where things get spicy: the entire outcome of the season comes down to, I believe, whether Ken decides to out Brian for why Brian told Ken that fellow contestant Ted needed to be voted out. I won’t publish a rumor as fact, but if the rumors are true and Ken spilled the beans, I assume Brian loses Ted’s vote; even if he somehow doesn’t, surely another jury member flips for Clay too.
An unpleasant thing to ponder in a season that already had an unpleasant moment early on between Ted and Ghandia. Helen had the most spot on and insightful confession when it comes to incidents like that: the women believed the woman, the guys believed the guy, and the result would follow how it typically goes in real life.
Other than that, this was season could mostly be looked at as a long slog with few memorable moments. Any season in which the art design (lots of gold!) sticks out as a major positive isn’t going to crack the top 10, needless to say. We had the ATTACK ZONE challenge, which CBS should mandate to be in every season. With that came Robb Z’s best moments; from choking Clay out, tossing him into a lake, and getting thrown out of the challenge to his incredible meltdown afterwards. He also had probably the season’s most beautiful moment, having a realization about his life’s purpose on his final day in the game and totally changing his worldview in the process.
The Fake Merge where both tribes went to live on one beach for a couple of episodes was a neat idea, although it screwed one of the best in Shii-Ann out of the game.
He’s a weak little whiny punk. Backward hick. Did you hear him? ~Goat bleating noises~ Screaming at me, dude. I wanted to spit in his face. That’s all I’m saying. We’re 8 strong and we’re gonna go into this immunity challenge, the one that counts, and kick their a**. That’s the bottom line. We got beat today, dude, but it wasn’t by someone better than us. Okay, I’m not gonna be a sore loser, we lost, dude. We lost by a bunch of rules.”
-Robb
Right now, I have 3 pieces of ammunition. There’s my trump card, Jan. She’s disposable. Then I have my loyal soldier, Helen. I know she wants Clay gone; I know Clay wants her. If I need to use that against her, I will. Finally, we have good ol’ Uncle Clay. I know where his head’s at, he knows where mine’s. So that’s disposable, loyal soldier, ~flips the bird~ whoops, good friend.”
-Brian
#32 – Heroes vs. Healers Vs. Hustlers (season 35)
A top-10 season…until the final 90 minutes
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Survivor: HvHvHFor most of my life, Survivor had been my show. I would spend all week growing up waiting for Thursday (and later, Wednesday) to roll around. Cast reveal days felt like a holiday. I would love reading interviews and getting behind-the-scenes tea from booted castaways. All up until the final hour of this season. For me, Survivor Jumped the Shark and was never the same following this season. Never before has a television show made me so viscerally angry as the finale of this season; I imagine it’s similar to what Game of Thrones diehards felt watching season 8 unfold in real time. I never cared as much afterwards; apathy and sense of lost glory is more how I feel about the show these days. All because of two words: fire-making.
That one twist so broke the game, and felt like such obvious manipulation by the producers to save their favorite contestant (after hiding idols in some ~questionable~ locations that the same contestant just ~happened~ to hang out in all the time), that it ruined this season. That Jeff and company insist on keeping this twist in the game afterwards is just salt in the wounds. It just ruins the essence of what makes Survivor: voting someone out. I don’t get how they just decided to say “F*** it, we’ll make the last elimination be a game of chance” as opposed to letting the players decide, like every single other round of the game. Take nothing away from Ben, by all accounts a great guy who played hard and found peace with serious trauma out on the island. He had nothing to do with what the show decided to pull on its players.
Not only BS in itself, it ruined what to that point had been a dang good season! We had an immunity idol strip search! Patrick and Ali riding the petty wagon! Lauren Rimmer doesn’t trust gingers! Actually everything about Lauren Rimmer! A showmance! A surfer dude who was secretly the mastermind! Ben Bombs! We even had a sex doctor! It was all so, so good. So good that I’m getting angry writing this, thinking about that twist years later.
Shoutout the season’s best meme, JP. If you, dear reader, ever watch this season, look out for him doing the most hilarious and inane stuff in the background. So many delightful little moments and things like that.
I’ve never trusted a red head a day in my life.”
-Lauren
It looks like I’m trippin’, right? The idol in your pants right now, I’m trippin’, right?
-Alan
#31 – South Pacific (season 23)
Religion gets weaponized, and a heroine hijacks the narrative at the 11th hour
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Survivor: South PacificA fascinating season, but not a particularly fun one. Seeing religion explored as a means of holding an alliance together, and borderline controlling it, was a very new direction for the show to take. The jocks vs. nerd storyline was both less original but equally riveting, and the clash between the two storylines provided a merge tribal council for the ages. When it came to exploring human nature and what people bond over, it’s up there with the best.
Elsewhere? Ozzy found more love, and then stumbled upon a game-breaking Redemption Island strategy that almost led to an importable win. Christine and Stacey were snarky and provided some great moments (shoutout Chuckie the Cheese jokes!). We had some spoken word erotic poetry, which was different. We had the spit-roast challenge back to give everyone oral herpes entertain the masses.
On the negative side, several characters that went deep into the game got pretty much ignored, Redemption Island was still a bad twist, and, apart from a two episode stretch leading up to and then beginning the merge portion, it was far from gripping most of the time. Heck, even Coach was taking Survivor seriously. Seriously! At least, it was that way up until the finale – one of the best of all time, and boosted this season up several slots.
What happened? Sophie happened. After flying under-the-radar for the entire, she woke up on Day 36 and chose violence. She took over the show by doing two things: enabling the self-destruction of the other players around her,, and one of the most clutch challenge wins ever. Even typing it out doesn’t do justice to how impressively she navigated the complex social politics going on around her without taking even one shred of blame, or how she took down the greatest challenge-player in the show’s history at the vital moment. What was the Ozzy and Coach show turned into the Sophie show at the perfect time, as she facilitated the downfalls of two titans in the span of a couple days, netting her a cool seven figs in the process.
Drop your damn stack and pick up my pieces! I’m going to beat you!”
-Sophie
I would give birth to ten of his children without using any drugs to help ease the pain. Then I would give him one more just because our love is that insane. There is not one thing that I would not do. For my lover, my best friend, my honey, my boo.”
-Semhar
#30 – Winners at War (season 40)
just a feeling of sadness wondering what could have been and never will be
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Survivor: Winners at WarSurvivor had one shot at an all-winner season with most of them still at or near their prime, and the production team kind of blew it. All they had to do was invite all the winners who were willing to come and just let them play. Heck, with the massive cast just have three tribes and two go to tribal council until there are a normal number of players in the game. What did we get? An unbalanced cast that screwed over the older winners, economics lessons, and the Edge brought back when it should have gone Extinct.
On top of the format, we had awesome stuff left on the cutting room floor: Rob meeting Amber at the Edge and Parvati teaching Ethan how to lie are storylines going back over a decade, and they left those as additional scenes only available as YouTube bonus content. Wendell and Michele’s storyline apparently wasn’t even a real thing. Ben essentially giving up at the end of the season killed a lot of momentum. The Edge of Extinction almost allowed the first person voted off to win the game by playing for under 10 of the 30 days.
I’ll end this one on a more positive note. Here are 10 great moments from the season celebrating 20 years of Survivor:
It’s insane that I’ve been here a month. And it seems like ages ago that I got here. However, crazy as it sounds, it’s kind of gone by quickly, too. I mean, as much as I hate this place, I’m sort of gonna miss it. It’s not really the people. It’s just, I’m gonna miss this amazing view. You know, it’s beautiful out here. It’s peaceful. Even though my husband is here– thank God he’s here– it’s forced me to slow down, take a break. I don’t do that at home. I never sit around. I’m just go, go, go. So, it’s, it’s a weird way to force yourself to sit down and just think about life and what matters most and what you miss. Because what I miss about home are my kids. But I think what I’m gonna miss about here is the simplicity of it all. You know, we don’t have any distractions or– there’s nothing here. It’s simple. But that’s the blessing. You don’t get to do that at home.”
-Amber
Dad-gummit, Adam!”
-Ben
#29 – Fiji (season 14)
A strong winner and intense last couple episodes
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Survivor: FijiSurvivor proves an economics principle: those with more resources will thrive while those without will struggle just to survive. In theory a great twist, having one tribe have all the resources to succeed while the other one starved just led to super predictable results. This season, like Vanuatu much later, gets its spot based on the strength of how it ends: a slept-on couple of episodes that saw a spectacular, season-altering blindside that took down the Four Horsemen (elite alliance name) and one borderline-exploitive moral quandary involving Dreamz and a car. Unfortunately, the journey to get there just wasn’t all that fun, hence the ranking.
What I do like about this season is that almost no one on the cast knew Survivor coming in, allowing the game to happen organically; it’s the closest we will ever get to Borneo again. Amazingly, out of that came one of the most dominant winners ever, Earl, and a fan-favorite absolute unit, Yau-Man. Yau-Man (not exactly a brawny guy) had me from when he was able to open the supply crate by dropping it on its weak point when men two times his size were flummoxed. Earl was so suave he controlled the game almost wire-to-wire and never took any hits for it, all while figuring out Survivor in real-time. Dreamz rounds out the trifecta of memorable contestants and was one of the most intriguing casting choices ever. Quite frankly, this dude needed the money more than anyone perhaps in the history of the show. This led to some fascinating interactions: his motivation to play was different from a lot of the cast, the cast seemed to look down on him as a competitor and a threat due to his background, and, of course, there was the infamous car deal gone wrong with Yau-Man, denying him immunity and essentially deciding the winner.
Some great characters and a heated final tribal make for a solid slow-burn of a season. The buffs were really intense with all the skulls this season, too.
I found a lemon tree!”
-Yau-Man
Imma keep it.”
-Dreamz
#28 – Cook Islands (season 13)
Once that twist is abandoned, a fine season lacking a true standout moment
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Survivor: Cook IslandsThe season in which Survivor answered criticism of its lack of racial diversity in its casting by…dividing into 4 tribes by race. To quote the noted American boxing instructor Parvati Shallow, “Is that Kosher?” There was some very interesting nuance, though, from that choice: the first two episodes featured an exploration of cultural differences in different Asian and Latin communities which divided their respective tribes. For some reason, after 2 episodes the show bails on its most wild twist, which I was kind of disappointed in. Like, the cat is already out of the bag at this point. You might as well lean into the whole social experiment and see how it all plays out.
This is a slowwwww burn – the merge doesn’t happen until episode 11! There are iconic moments pre-merge: Billy falls in love, the mutiny, Ozzy in challenges, Penner b****ing at Jeff, but they are few and far between. Getting to the good stuff, which really starts around the Message in a Bottle twist, is a bit of a slog. The end is a solid ride: Parvati gets naked in a hot tub with the guys, Candice and Adam make out at tribal council, and those three plus Nate and Penner fall by the wayside setting up an epic final tribal between two titans, plus Becky. Unnecessarily replacing the final 2 with a final 3 (ew!), the final tribal provides the show’s best dive into what constitutes playing a better game: mentally out-strategizing everyone or physically dominating your way through the challenges.
When I first saw Parvati, I was like DAYUMMM!”
-Nate
My prize was that I fell in love in this game. Love at first site. Her name is Candice.”
-Billy
#27 – Marquesas (season 4)
Some legends are born, one game-changing episode, and one rock painted purple
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Survivor: MarquesasOld school fans: please explain to me why this season is so great. I love old Survivor, but I just do not get the hype with this one. It’s fine. There is an amazing two episode run with the first big power shift in the show’s history, but besides that, it’s mostly just quirky little moments sprinkled in here and there with nothing major happening. The challenges are as bad as some of the season’s in the 30’s. A good amount of the cast doesn’t leave much of an impression. The location is only remembered for those pesky No-No bugs.
Most of the standout moments involve the greatest 1-time Survivor player, Sean Rector. From his bromance with a very young and innocent Boston Rob to his insightful conversations with Vecepia on race, from his equally insightful relationship with Paschal to his mic-drop moment at the voting booth after orchestrating the biggest blindside in the first four seasons of the show, he delivered for all 36 days on the island. Bring him back CBS! Elsewhere, Kathy had a great arc from not fitting in with her tribe to almost winning the dang thing. Gabe and Hunter getting booted early provided warning signs that this show was no longer just about survival. The Purple Rock tiebreaker was so terrifying that it took 23 seasons before another group of players had the balls to get to that point. The Final 2 really got done dirty by the edit.
I will die on the hill that the Rosie O’ Donnell reunion show has never been topped. Peak TV: Colby riding her in on a motorcycle, the spoof of the Gilligan’s Island theme (bruised his coconuts!), and Boston Rob thanking Sarah for bringing her ~top half~ to the island. Chaotic gold. She should have been the permanent reunion host.
Checkmate, bruh. You thought you had me. Tell you any time you go to Vegas, bet on Black!”
-Sean
I need somebody to pee on me! Does anybody have to pee? Please?”
-John
#26 – Samoa (season 19)
Old School Survivor ends as Hantz pulls some idol shenanigans
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Survivor: SamoaThe worst edited season ever. The season that changed the game forever. Whether for better or for worse depends on your interpretation. Samoa is tough to rank because, like Caramoan much higher, there is an elite season in the raw footage. The show the viewers got couldn’t have been more lopsided. Hope you like the Russell Show!
I’m not a fan of Russell’s game by any means, but I have to respect the genius it took to find a Hidden Immunity Idol without a clue, just by noticing when the camera crew was following him closely. Unfortunately, my enjoyment of that cool moment is kind of ruined by how the producers saw this as an opportunity and not a flaw, and started down the long, windy road to where we are today, where there are about 10 advantages floating around at any time and half the tribe isn’t even casting votes. Man, I’m starting to sound like an old crank, aren’t I? I swear I love this show!
Rant over. Back to the Russell Show Samoa. I was curious as to just how much Russell took over the show. It turns out almost the whole thing: he had 108 confessionals; the winner had 15! Russell is a fascinating study, because at the time of airing I remember everyone was almost in awe of the guy and how he was “revolutionizing Survivor”. I never fell into the hype, and I think looking back, it’s easy to see how borderline-bullying your competition won’t endear you to them, especially when you need them to turn around and vote for you to win 7 figures.
The show really needed a foil to Russell, and there were plenty of candidates that the Powers That Be simply chose not to show. Natalie kicks butt by just being a nice person, Monica (my first Survivor crush) sassed him and saw through his BS, Erik got clotheslined by a clothesline and then metaphorically clotheslined Russell, and Brett came within one challenge win of sweeping the votes. We also had the criminally underrated Danger Dave Ball, lovemaker.
The final tribal council was spectacular. We had amazing arguments both pro-Russell and pro-Natalie. Mick got called feckless. Then Erik drops the hammer on Russell with the most effective speech ever, paving the way for a truly shocking upset.
No, makin’ love’s my sport”
“You play a lot?“
“Not often enough!”
-Danger Dave
He’s no Mike Tyson! He’s Brett!”
-Russell H.
#25 – Guatemala (season 11)
The season time forgot
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Survivor: GuatemalaSo much of the cast blends together (partly because it’s hella white). Nothing truly groundbreaking happens. You won’t find this guy slingin’ any more mud at this baby though – it’s good clean fun all the way with some cool challenges (that maze in the finale – wow!) and a sweet location right in some ancient ruins. We have here the very definition of a middle-of-the-road season; wonderfully inoffensive (unless, of course, you have AYEEE DEEEEE DEEEEE, right Judd?).
After the initial excitement of Bobby Jon and Stephanie coming back & the grueling 12 mile hike to camp died down, not a lot of note happened for half the season, which kind of ruined the momentum. The biggest legacy Guatemala left the show came at the merge: the Hidden Immunity Idol. For the first time, someone on the bottom had a get out of jail free card, and I was HYPED at the time. Noted pro landscaper Gary, sussing out Judd’s suspicious lie and subsequent Broadway-level acting, found the very first idol (which, in a one-off, had to be played before the votes were cast) and saved his booty.
Danni played one heckuva game – hiding her strategy from even the producers to keep her plans under wraps was a stroke of genius. She had Gary sweating about his past the whole game, kicked butt in the challenges (especially the final one), flew under the radar until late, and snagged a sweet assist from Rafe to lock in a win.
Thanks, guys. Hope you all get bit by a freaking crocodile. Scumbags.”
-Judd
You may be the Golden Boy, but I’m platinum.”
-Brian
#24 – Nicaragua (season 21)
An offbeat, quirky season with controversy and two quits
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Survivor: NicaraguaRight off: Fabio winning Survivor was one of the greatest things to ever happen to the show. In a time when Russell Hantz had a post-Samoa America whipped into a frenzy with his blitzkrieg-style of playing, a dude who just wanted to get high and chill with the homies winning was both hilarious and spectacular. To hammer home just how wild this was, the Fabs was never truly in an alliance at any point in the game. He just floated and tried to figure out how prosthetic legs worked and floated and got a crab stuck on his foot and floated and peed in a pool and floated some more.
Why I love Nicaragua is that is feels like the last season where strategy took a back seat to just spending time with some truly unhinged dirt squirrels characters and sharing some laughs. Hats off to whoever found Wendy Jo, Dan, Jane, Holly, Naonka, Jimmy T – that was some A+ casting work. We also have Jeff Probst at his sassiest, from the Ceremonial Loser Dismount to telling the losing team they will be executed to imitating his Mom. Great stuff all around.
Even the season’s quirks are kind of endearing: the two quits because they couldn’t hack it weren’t allowed to bring any warm clothes throw the game into chaos. In addition, apparently Sash breaks the rules of the game by promising to pay off Jane’s mortgage if he wins and irks everyone in the process, and the Powers That Be decided to edit around the incident, which led to whole vote outs having little explanation.
The less said about Shannon and his very large nips opinions the better.
You are a 100% Grade-A dirt squirrel and it is time for you to go home. ~Squirrel noises~
-Benry
I switched my vote tonight to Chase to tell him how much I dislike the guy. I want nothing to do with you. Holly, you’re a crook. You stole my shoes. They ought to cut your damn hands off. Sash, you’re just like a whining little girl. And you’re a liar. I wish them the worst”
-Dan
#23 – Millennials vs. Gen-X (season 33)
Survivor retires in Fiji starting with a season that was heavy on Kumbaya
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Survivor: Millenials Vs. Gen XAlthough this season feels like the start of the trend everyone gets along and everything is sunshine and rainbows and strategy that continues to this day, it felt really refreshing at the time after some darker moments in Koah Rong. After Paul goes, the generational war doesn’t really go anywhere and the big story becomes love in the air on Millennial Beach and heated debates on the existence of dragons.
Post-merge is very strategy-heavy yet surprisingly emotional. Some really cool human moments happen organically: Bret and Zeke reflect on being a gay man in different generations, Ken and David show two different sides of struggling with anxiety, and Adam and Jay struggled with having to betray each other after bonding over family. Sunday (Rest in Peace) gets rocked out in brutal fashion leading up to a finale that I found quite the tough nut to crack. Ken makes a Big Move at the perfect time to ax his closest ally and best friend in the game, yet gets shredded by a jury who seemed to be all about making big moves. I just find it really interesting how he got zero respect for a play that others have made and been adored for. In the same vein, I was stunned Hannah snagged no love from the jury for a well-played game and some real personal growth after some awkward moments initially. The winner certainly deserved it, and making it home just in time to tell his dying mother left nary a dry eye among the audience.
Jay DOES have an idol!”
-Literally everyone
“They about to see some ta-tas today.”
-Michaela
#22 – Blood vs. Water (season 27)
A ray of light at the time, delighting despite an odd cast and redemption Island’s return
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Survivor: Blood Vs. WaterThe twist and the cast had no business working, but somehow it succeeded in spite of itself. Coming after a run of forgettable seasons and bringing back the always hated Redemption Island twist, my expectations were in the basement going into this season.
And yet, it kind of ruled. Yeah the winner was totally telegraphed by the edit, but the journey there was a blast. Too many fun moments to list: Marissa flipping off Brad Culpepper, everyone burning Hidden Immunity Idol clues, Kat pondering the future of her love life after being forever labeled as a pre-merger, and the chicanery of the Coconut Bandits all stand out. Aras and Tina both proved why they were deserving former winners, but came up short trying to land the second. Ciera became a meme, but she then made a move against the power players one episode too late, and Katie caught the stray rock.
Speaking of Katie, she needs more love than she gets. Getting pimped out to suitors by your Mom on national TV had to be hard enough; getting body slammed by her in a challenge and then later eliminated by her must have been even worse. In between she dealt with a powerful all-guys alliance, got sussed out by Ciera, and drew the purple White Rock of Shame. She even lost out on a spot on the DVD cover…to her mom. Even with all that, she seemed the most chill and down-to-Earth person on this cast of weird, wild, and wacky characters. You couldn’t help but root for her, a lovable underdog in the purest sense.
I’m ready for grandbabies!”
-Tina
Ruffle. Ruffle feathers. You said rustle feathers.”
-Tyson
#21 – The Australian Outback (season 2)
A one-of-a-kind experience that isn’t quite season 1 and isn’t quite the show we’ve come to know and love
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Survivor: The Australian OutbackHere we have plenty of similarities Borneo, the first season, but how contestants play and how things are framed are very much in reaction to it. At the time, there was significant controversy surrounding the ethics of lying and deceiving to win the show and the massive amount of money that comes with it. The first winner was viewed as a major villain for how he utilized the strategy of alliances to bring home the bacon. So here we have a reaction to it: this winner’s equally cutthroat strategy is largely hidden in how the show is presented. Otherwise, nothing innovative happens here: the format is the exact same as that of Borneo, no major strategies are introduced, and the challenges are mostly ripped from the first season too.
Despite its connections to Borneo, this feels like a very different season. Yes, the location is very different, but also I think this is due to not needing to re-hash the particulars of the show. The audience, which was truly astronomical at the time (averaging 29.8 million viewers per episode), already knew how Survivor worked, and thus we get a very reflective season instead of anything evolutionary, in which the journey of the Survivor experience and the struggle to survive the elements are emphasized. This single-focus leads to an excruciating grind for the final couple of episodes. The boot order became obvious and far too much time is spent reflecting on how the show has changed the contestants lives. Heck, I love the Rites of Passage/torch walk they used to do to contemplate the fallen contestants as much if not more than the next guy, but it felt like 2/3 of the finale was spent on similar scenes.
After dumping on it for two paragraphs, I ranked it 21. Why? The people. It’s just a real fun group of people to spend a couple hours with. There is a reason a whopping 8 of them have returned to play again (although 2 probably wish they didn’t). You have the studly cowboy Colby, the sexy flirt Jerri, the sweethearts Elizabeth and Rodger, the Southern Mom with a ruthless side Tina; the list can go on and on. You also have some iconic moments: Beef Jerky Gate, Rodger jumps off a waterfall not knowing how to swim, a waved finger in a face, lusting for chocolate, a fall into a firepit, loose lips spilling a critical past vote, and a million dollar mistake at the final 3. In the end, the good far outweighs the bad.
I will always wave my finger in your face!”
-Alicia
I may be a lot of things, but I ain’t no Hershey bar!”
-Colby
#20 – World’s Apart (season 30)
controversy surrounds a season that is filled with passion, Beefs, and some hilarious personalities
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Survivor: World’s ApartA lightning rod of a season that features some larger-than-life, hilarious, and infuriating characters playing the game each their own way and with a LOT of passion. Your milage may vary based on your enjoyment of over-the-top, cartoony, and occasionally infuriating gentlemen, but guaranteed: you will not be bored. Possibly enthralled, possibly angry, but never bored! It feels weird leaving such a polarizing season right in the middle of the rankings, but let me explain!
The theme basing tribes off their careers and lifestyles really works as this leads to exploring differences in priorities, hobbies, politics, and ways of playing the game. You have the surprisingly cutthroat no-collars, who ax both their most free-spirited player for being too weird and their most uptight player for not being weird enough. There is the blue-collars, who have the most rough-around-the-edges characters and supply a lot of the drama. Then you have the white-collars, who feel the need to defend their lifestyle while playing the game through a highly analytical lens.
The season has always been remembered by most, I believe undesevedly, for its most controversial clashes involving Will, Dan, and Rodney, but when it came to actually deciding the game, it was an underhanded move from Mike that ended up being the key moment of the season. With his back against the wall, Mike tricks his competitors into paying all their money during the auction challenge for a letter from their loved ones back home while withholding his own to get an advantage in the game. The move backfires when he then capitulates and takes the letter while burning all of his street cred along with it. The rest of the season becomes a will-he-or-won’t-he struggle to claw his way back from the very bottom which is highly riveting.
With manties lost to warts boiled, the Constitution of the United States used as the basis for a game move to being forced to wash dishes on your birthday, you can’t say this is a bad watch. Whether you appreciate the chaos, controversy, and comedy is in the eyes of the beholder. I enjoy most of it; hence the #20 spot.
An important milestone to note: the aforementioned advantage is the first instance of someone gaining or losing a vote at a tribal council, a change I detest and think has gotten way out of hand ever since.
I expected me and you would be Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan. Now I feel like I’m Luc Longley, bro!”
-Rodney
The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”
-Dan (and also the Grinch)
#19 – David vs. Goliath (season 37)
The best Fiji season, succeeding with a great cast in spite of, not because of, more twists than ever
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Survivor: David Vs. GoliathAs with too many seasons in the Fiji era, the twists were dumb. This cast was so fantabulous the season rocks in spite of the itself and cheesy theme. The fact that they played into this and let their zany personalities shine made this the shining light of the later seasons. Although deemed a “David” or “Goliath” by casting, the players dropped the whole theme quickly and showed off a much more complex and well-rounded set of personalities than met the eye.
This group were mold breakers: whatever archetype or stereotype you had someone pegged as, they found a way to break out of before season’s end. Christian, a professor and robotics “nerd”, showed off an inate ability to bond and relate with people and was a physical threat to boot. John Morrison, the Shaman of Sexy himself, pro wrestler and entertainer, went on the show to find his truest self and showed a soft and reflective side. Davie, a good looking and physically strong guy, was a self-proclaimed Blerd (Black Nerd!). The list could go on, but you get the gist – this was a group of highly layered players.
This season also explored what I like to call the Mike White Effect – outside wealth and fame dictating the end of a season like few other things outside of the game ever have in a season of new players. Well known as a successful writer and actor, Mike played a solid game to maneuver his way into the final, but didn’t fight all that hard for a win he had a real argument for: he was there for the experience and openly didn’t need the prize money, a fact that came up during the final tribal council and directly influenced who won the game. Nick himself played a solid game, and I did enjoy his alliance names with everyone.
Special shoutouts go to Natalie for holding onto her jacket and getting one last burn at Angelina in and Carl for having one of the great storylines ever: going “Bing!”, getting drunk on power and actually drunk, and getting booted out.
Play with you? Oh, in the sand?
-Christian
Natalie, is there any way I could have your jacket?”
-Angelina
#18 – Panama-Exile Island (season 12)
one epic immunity run and one dysfunctional family boost an otherwise run-of-the-mill season
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Survivor: Panama – Exile IslandA very solid season featuring the most memorable immunity run ever and one incredibly dysfunctional family. And what a family Casaya was: held together by little more than a Blackberry piece of wood, the Casa de Charmin, and a rock garden, they simultaneously hated each other’s guts while sticking together to dominate the game. It was uproariously funny watching them get in increasingly insane arguments week after week, then rally to win immunity or vote one of the La Mina tribe off.
On the flip side, you had my favorite player at the time: Terry Dietz. The leader and sole surviving member of the opposing La Mina tribe, he made a dash for the cash via the only option he had left: immunity. Against a field with a college athlete and a Yogi, he took all comers week after week until confronted with The Whambulance his Kryptonite: cute little lily pads.
The Powers That Be were in their Experimenting Era, and out of Jeff Probst’s chest pockets popped Exile Island, where one tribe member who lost a reward challenge gets sent to ponder the meaning of life and possibly find a Hidden Immunity Idol alone on their own special deserted island. This added a little extra sauce to the proceedings, and allow the idol ended up not being used this time around, the constant paranoia over who had it tingled my tastebuds.
Nothing special or groundbreaking happened here; it’s just a blast – there is a reason the whole final 4 has returned on future seasons and honestly the 5th place representative should have.
Misty and Sally walked so Parvati could run.
Somebody call the Whambulance! Terry’s crying on the course!
-Aras
All you kids in your mid-20s that are in my situation, confused, not sure which direction life’s pulling you, you’re just trying to find yourself. I urge us all, please, be hungry, be foolish, block out the noise, find yourselves, be who you potentially are. And be true to your dreams, and what you really want to do. If we all maximize that personal freedom, then we’ll change the world.”
-Nick
#17 – All Stars (season 8)
It turns out not everyone ‘s Rob
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Survivor: All-StarsOn a personal note, this is the first season of Survivor I caught parts of as a young lad without really having a clue of what was happening. I remember staying up “late” waiting for my father to get home from a business trip watching Lex and Kathy’s fateful debate whether to spare Amber for Jerri, and then later caught the finale, where little Erik was in awe of the scale and fun of the giant maze challenge that I later tried to replicate it at a birthday party (the show’s version was a lot cooler to be honest).
From a human-interest perspective, this is one of the most fascinating stories ever told on Survivor. Dark yet riveting television – legendary characters have their reputations ruined; others rise to prominence and yet for others, infamy. Two players quit for very different reasons; the cast took great pleasure in axing the winners early. Both long-lasting friendships and shady pre-game alliances were broken when the whole thing went off the rails. What was supposed to be, I believe, the crowning glory of the first 7 seasons of a hit TV show ended up becoming a bleak epic mixed with a romance. I personally love it; at the same time, I get why others hate it. It’s the season Survivor tries to make you forget happened yet the season you can’t escape the consequences of. It’s Survivor: All Stars.
No other season with such massive stakes; no other season changed the direction of the franchise quite like what happened on the shores of Panama in 2003. Suddenly, the game was less about an adventure of a lifetime but rather a cutthroat game to be played or get left behind. Using personal relationships to your benefit and then discarding them when convenient became a part of the game, if not totally accepted yet. The fans got in on the act too: booing one contestant literally off the stage while handing another $1,000,000 just for being popular (and for having a roar, a beard, and some nifty tie-dye). There was a he-said, she-said assault. A contestant left to be with her dying mother. With such massive stakes, any winner or popular player was mince meat as the “lesser-known” All-Stars colluded to obtain the victory, only for those same players to “sell out their friends for a stack of Greenbacks”. This is not for the faint of heart!
That is, with one very notable exception. The flip side of All Stars is that it is, at its core, a love story. A love so strong that it burned everything in its wake and rose to the top. A love that came from self-interest at first and rose into something beautiful and lasting – 4 kids and counting (take that Bachelor nation!). Sorry Jeff Probst – you ain’t riding shotgun no more. The split between the purity of Rob and Amber’s love story and the grimy, skeevy feel of the rest of the season is fascinating to watch unfold, in my opinion. They compliment each other so perfectly that, when together, they play a game so solid that they guarantee one will win – even when Rob starts to fumble under the weight of his betrayals in his wake, Amber is there to pick up his pieces and put it all back together with her social grace and her innate ability to understand the pulse of the tribe. On the flip side, Rob is the leader and challenge beast enabling immunities and rewards, while gaining the initial trust of so many allies. Shii Ann had them figured out early; it’s a shame no one bothered to listen.
Stupid people! Stupid people! Let me just say that again: stupid players!”
-Shii-Ann
If you want to put our friendship on the line, I’ll put our friendship on the line over this. The word I gave you is that if I can take care of you, I will. I’m sorry I cannot.”
-Boston Rob
#16 – Cambodia-Second Chances (season 31)
A balls-to-the-wall banger that might make your head spin from the back-and-forth swings
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Survivor: Cambodia – Second ChanceSurvivor starts going hard on the strategy front in a roller-coaster season filled with 20 people going ham from the start. A neat idea for a returning player’s season was made even neater by having the fans vote in the cast (T-Bird, Shane, Stephanie – you were robbed!). From the beginning, there was a real energy from the group that played but also a fair amount of desperation. Every player knew they had been gifted a second chance not by a casting producer, but the very fans of the show, and every players seemed determined to put on a show.
Voting on the cast was an absolute genius move by the show. The fanbase was engaged, everyone was debating who would/wouldn’t make it, and the players came up with amazing ways to plead their case to their captive audience (Monica running down Hollywood Blvd in a skimpy bikini taking the cake!). The live reveal was both amazing and heartbreaking at the same time – I remember not being able to watch when Jeff went up to Terry Dietz, my childhood favorite player, and prepared to either make or shatter his dreams of redemption. Shoutout to his son Danny – glad you are okay!
When the show actually aired, viewers got whiplash from the constantly shifting dynamics and voting blocks alliances. Fluid sounds like a dramatic way to describe a reality competition show, but I don’t know how else to say it: every week, social groups and alliances had redrawn themselves as everyone was scrambling to avoid the proverbial coconut chop.
In a season filled with SOOOO much talk of strategy, there were still some fun little callbacks tucked in: Woo shutting down Spencer (and Shirin) for their lack of respect of his game in Cagayan, Abi-Maria got involved in drama with a fellow lady, Savage assumed the leadership role only to get cut off in the most devasting of fashions, Stephen course-corrected a little too hard fearing the specter of JT, Keith was funny and innocent and drove to the beat of his own Tuk-Tuk, and Spencer tried to show a softer, more emotional side after being accused of being cold and impersonal before. All of that plays into a smooth and clean game played by a winner who playing for redemption for not only himself, but his wife as well. Surround and Drown!
Hell no! Survivor ain’t fun. Going on a cruise is fun! Ya know, going fishing is fun. Going to play golf is fun. This ain’t fun!”
-Keith
If I have to bite my tongue, act like a wimpy little non-leader, under-the-radar-screen kinda guy, I’ll do it!”
-Andrew
#15 – Borneo (season 1)
16 strangers create television history and invent TV’s most popular and enduring adventure game
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Survivor: BorneoSurvivor’s humble beginnings, gong and all, slot in at #15. At times, this doesn’t feel like the same show – it is very much framed as a social and survival experiment, Lord of the Flies-style, above all else. Votes initially go the way towards those not helping the tribe survive and win challenges. That all changes as the merge(r!) gets close – as the foursome of Richard, Sue, Rudy, and Kelly agree to vote together and change Survivor in the process. As the votes come in 4-1-1-1-1-1-1 at the merge and it dawns on winner-elect Gretchen that she is going home, Survivor becomes a game in addition to an experiment.
Borneo stands alone – it is crude, unpolished, and awkward at times. The graphics, music, and production values are not always strong. The players and the producers are kind of all figuring it out as they go along. Some of the challenges look like they could be constructed in a backyard; one nighttime challenge is hilariously set to an 80’s synth-horror soundtrack. The contestants refused to participate in one challenge because the reward stunk; another time Jeff himself got voted out at Tribal Council.
Yet, to sum up Borneo best in one word: groundbreaking. This is the show, and the season, that brought reality TV into the mainstream, building on then-recent unscripted successes American Gladiators for sports fans and the game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire. What was a simple Summer adventure show became an overnight phenomenon. Survivor became part of the culture, which leads us to arguably the most groundbreaking of friendships: Richard Hatch and Rudy Boesch. For the unawares: Richard Hatch was an openly gay man with a penchant for strolling around in his birthday suit. Rudy Boesch was a hardline ex-military standout with not much experience or tolerance for gay people. That they not only cohabitated but got along before becoming allies and close friends was a watershed moment for the LGBT movement in 2000. Hatch showed America that gay people were just like anyone else, and Rudy accepted Hatch, “the Queer” as he called him in his own crusty way, for who he was. This was broadcast to millions nationwide, and played a significant role in the increasing acceptance of LGBT-identifying individuals and the lifestyle.
If you or a loved one watched only the first couple of seasons before dropping off, one of the things that probably lasts in your memory is Sue Hawk’s Snakes and Rats speech at the end of the game. An incredible and incredibly personal speech that didn’t appear to actually persuade any jury members, she pegged Richard at the snake eating Kelly the rat. That Hatch pulls out the win solidified how the game will be played going forward – that using alliances as a means to an end and being open about it is key to succeeding in the game, no matter how good you are physically or at surviving the elements.
Me and Richard got to be pretty good friends. Not in a homosexual way, that’s for sure!”
-Rudy
But if I were to ever pass you along in life again, and you were laying there dying of thirst, I would not give you a drink of water. I would let the vultures take you and do whatever they want with you with no ill regrets.
-Sue
Oh my God…it’s ME!”
-Gretchen
#14 – Philippines (season 25)
Hey look Ma, Survivor is fun again!
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Survivor: PhilippinesAfter a rough couple of seasons, this was the ultimate breath of fresh air. Fun being the key word: nothing earthshattering but just good old fashion fun television. A mostly new cast mixed with three returning players who had previously been evacuated with injuries gelled really well. We had some drama, a new location, a mostly likeable cast, some good moves, and some neat challenges. Everything a solid Survivor season needs was there.
The producers pulled the ol’ switcheroo from the start: for the first time since All Stars, they started with 3 tribes of 6 people each. While a lot of fans are sick of this format now, it was amazing at the time – the viewers get to know everyone better; tribe dynamics are more personal with nowhere for people to hide.
This season features one of the greatest winning games that doesn’t get near the credit it deserves. Stuck on an atrocious tribe that lost every immunity challenge before being absorbed, Denise navigated her way through that initial minefield only to be stuck on the bottom as the outsider on a new tribe that had already been together and bonded. She went to and survived EVERY. SINGLE. TRIBAL. COUNCIL. Her social game was seriously impressive: she always knew where people stood and everyone else in turn liked and respected her. As one of the older players in the cast, she was underrated in the challenges as well. She really has no weaknesses in her game and deserved her 7 figure payday.
You know what pisses me off? I think I’ve made about 60 million dollars playing baseball and I want this frickin’ million dollars in this game. And it’s not even a million bucks, it’s 600 grand by the time Obama takes it.”
-Jeff Kent
Penner…what do you want to do? Katie or Penner?
-Carter
#13 – Gabon (season 17)
Beautiful chaos
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Survivor: GabonAre you a fan who likes chess-like gameplay with intricate strategy and meta games? This won’t be the season for you. Do you like a bunch of cooky, crazy Drama Queens getting petty and constantly pulling (Ga)boners? This was made for you. Gabon is wild, man. Hilarious, unhinged chaos is the name of the game here. Gabon, and Tocantins following, feel like the last times Survivor really leaned into the comedy side of things.
Survivor also moves to high def! At the time, this was unreal – just look at the difference between the picture quality Micronesia and Gabon. Going to a location as gorgeous as Gabon was a stroke of genius too, as the whole landscape really pops off the screen.
The key to the whole season is Sugar and how her way of playing drove everyone else nuts. This is comedy gold, watching a bunch of very logical players try to work with and around someone who played solely based on their emotions. After getting sent to Exile Island The Sugar Shack enough times, you get the sense she just enjoyed creating a little chaos and making other people scramble (mostly Randy if we’re being real). This all led to a highly bitter jury teeing off on the eclectic final 3 that remained; get some popcorn for that final tribal!
I need to toss a mention to the challenge team on this one – they used the landscape of Gabon to create some really dope challenges that make you wish you had the chance to do them just for fun. Seriously… water slides, Super Golf, chucking stuff off cliffs, and floatie disk water polo? Sign me up!
You have made my life hell from Day 1! Forget you! Go home! Good bye!”
-Crystal
You are a disgusting, old, hotheaded, chauvinistic, alcoholic, bigot. And you need to grow up before you die alone. A loser!”
-Sugar
#12 – San Juan Del Sur (season 29)
Family beefs and an underdog story
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Survivor: San Juan Del SurNumbers 12 and 11 are very similar seasons that stand out from the rest because they are really stories of sweet, sweet revenge. Both awesome for somewhat different reasons, I think you can make a good argument for either being the better season. Interestingly, both were kind of slept on when they initially aired by the larger fanbase from what I’ve seen, but while I didn’t see Vanuatu live, I was always a big fan of San Juan del Sur. I think coming right after the fantabulosity of Cagayan really hurt this baby in real time, but it is a great season in its own right.
From the start, the family dynamics were fascinating because, unlike in Blood vs. Water, both family members started on equal footing having never played the game before. The casting really knocked it out of the park this season finding people from all cross sections of America, leading to some wild interactions like Keith and Josh or Drew and Jaclyn on Exile Island. Speaking of which…bringing back Exile Island for a family season where two people had to go at a time was fantastic. This also plays out on the jury, where two jury members had to watch their loved ones get shredded by questions from their peers, climaxing with the “Wicked Stepmother” speech that brought Baylor to tears.
For a long time, this season felt like it was a long lead up to be a clash of two titans, Jeremy and Josh, on the sands of Nicaragua. Oh, how wrong we were. In back-to-back tribal councils, they both take the Walk of Shame, creating a void at the top that players scrambling to stamp their authority on the game use to create utter chaos. Natalie, having been burned once by losing her sister first and then her best friend and closest ally Jeremy, gets MAD and plays an epic long game, slowly finding means of picking off those who hurt her so subtly that she never takes a hit for it. It was no easy road; Keith had a real chance to win with his “Aw Shucks” likeability and challenge wins, as did the power couple Jon and Jaclyn. Heck, even Reed was a real schemer who almost pulled an dramatic coup of his own.
Shoutout Wes Nale – Keith (Rest in Peace!) got all the love, but coming out victorious in a Chicken Nugget Eating Contest is a feat that commands respect.
Basically I’m a bada** and manipulator of this game!”
-Drew
I say stick to the plan!”
-Keith
#11 – Vanuatu (season 9)
Peep #12, only with less subtlety and more Unnecessary, Blatant Lies
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Survivor: VanuatuCount me as a member of Stanuatu. Gender Wars are back, and after coming out on top the first time, the women’s tribe isn’t here to flirt, they are here to kick booty and take names. For the first 2/3 of the game, a devasting combination of loyalty to Ami and Leann and manipulation of the men by the charms of Julie and Twila put the dudes in a hole they should never have been able to climb out of…
The social dynamics that went on in Vanuatu were fascinating: on Team Testosterone, the older gents banded together to form the Fat Five alliance to avoid being picked off by the younger guys. Over in the women’s camp, Ami and Leann brought the tribe together but also ruled with an iron fist, disposing of anyone who made even the slightly suggestion against them. Once the swap happened, things got really saucy: Julie turned on the sex appeal while Twila used her folksy trustworthiness to reel in the guys and convince them to make a massive error and boot loyal soldier John K. out of the game. Down only 6-4 at the merge thanks to wild and hilarious scrambling from Rory, the guys weren’t able to convince Twila and Julie to stay on board and the ladies are well on board to knocking all the guys out. In the process, they had many days to ponder how the game would shake out once all the boys were gone, and several of them didn’t like what they saw coming.
In the midst of a crumbling women’s alliance remained one guy, Chris, who sort of ended up there by default: he didn’t get busted shouting his plans to opposition play 4-D chess like Bubba, he didn’t have enemies like Rory, he wasn’t a challenge threat like Sarge, and he couldn’t play the sympathy card like Chad. Despite drawing nearly dead in terms of his chances, Chris, like Natalie many years later, ran out of f**** to give but kept on scratching and clawing and finally an opportunity presented itself. He was charming in his own very dramatic way and knew exactly which buttons to push at exactly the right time to keep moving one step closer to burning everyone the prize.
Put some respect on Rory Freeman’s name. He is a grown a** man!
Imma burn every one of em’. Just let them open the door. This is for you. Not against you.”
-Chris
If you forgive me then maybe I can forgive myself.”
-Twila
#10 – Koah Rong (season 32)
The last great season to date has it all: harsh conditions, brutal challenges, moral complications, complex villains, and a stunning finale you have to see to believe
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Survivor: Koah RongWhat I love about Koah Rong is that is shows how there are so many different ways to play Survivor and also a good showcase into how to use your strengths to your advantage. The super-likeable final 4 consists of 4 vastly different people who all get to the end in their own unique, refreshing way.
You can’t talk season 32 without the nasty conditions that left fans wondering what would Koah Rong next. Bugs crawling into ear canals? Check. An emergency evacuation to prevent a castaway from dying trying to obtain some spices? We have that. Gross infections? Not in short supply. Kabobs that fight back? You better believe it! Add in triple digit heat indexes and you get the “survive” back in Survivor.
Koah Rong really gets juicy when it explores the grey areas that Survivor can bring out, especially when it comes to the villains of the season, Scot and Kyle (or is it Jason?!), and the man caught in the middle, Tai. Both Scot and Kyle get some moments explaining there motivations and life outside of Survivor that humanize them in contrast to the ruthless way they try to control the game. Tai, caught in the middle between the devils that boost his chances of winning on one should and the angel (Aubry) trying to bring him back to the light, struggles all season long to combine his pure, wholesome nature with having to grapple with what morals you are willing to sacrifice to win a game as brutal as Survivor.
This season goes full Arrested Development with Debbie, changing her on-screen job next to her name almost every week to go along with all her many apparent careers. I love when they toss in subtle jokes like this that you only notice if you are paying attention.
Special shoutouts go to two very different players: Nick and Julia. I get Nick is not everyone’s cup of tea, but his subtle and self-aware condescension towards everyone else absolutely killed me. We didn’t get near enough of this guy: just check out this interview. The man just has an incredible way with words. As a teenager at the time this season aired, I respected the fact that Julia didn’t come for the experience and to make up the numbers. She flat out came to play. It may not have worked out for her, but I always appreciated her hustle and willingness to mix it up with people much bigger, much older, and with much more life experience than her with no fear.
Bro, I know!
-Michele
Like ebony and ivory. Like toilets and toilet paper.”
-Debbie
#9 – Micronesia-Fans Vs. Favorites (season 16)
A mismatch, Black widows, Devastating errors, sticks with faces, and 11th-hour surprises
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Survivor: Micronesia – Fans Vs. FavoritesSo much has been said about this season over the years and it still holds up. Why is it not higher here? I find the beginning to be kind of overrated: the premier rules, but once Fairplay goes it kind of plods along for a couple of weeks until the merge. After the merge, though? Gangbusters. Just an incredible run of blindsides, masterclasses in manipulation and using sexuality to gain an advantage, and one f***ing stick.
After years of near-misses, we finally see an all women’s alliance stick the landing. The infamous Black Widow Brigade devoured all in its path, most of whom never saw it coming and one who willingly gave up his only protection. Every single one of them played a winning game, and it was a blast to watch.
We were all once again blessed with Eliza on the jury, something that in these divisive times we can all agree is something to be treasured. She is the complete package on the jury bench: dramatic eye-rolls, over-the-top shocked faces, and an speech full of roasts, laughs, and harsh truths.
The final, unexpected Final 2 proved the cherry on top of an already delicious sundae (unless you are Cirie). Just like that, the game flips one last time. As much as it sucked seeing Cirie get axed so close to the end, the final two combatants were well matched and worthy in their own right. An elite end to an elite season.
Damn. Damn! They got me! I should’ve known better. Those damn girls! I mean, there’s one thing to be said about surviving the elements and there’s another thing to be said about surviving 4 crazy, sexy women!”
-Erik
It’s a f***** stick!
-Eliza
#8 – China (season 15)
A unique, culture-rich locale provides the backdrop for some intense conflicts, gorgeous challenges, jaw-dropping errors, and a final tribal council that was a total toss up
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Survivor: ChinaCasting is top notch: so many regions and careers are represented and plenty of culture clashing occurs. There are just so many funny little scenes hidden in this gem.
I LOVED the twist of hiding Hidden Immunity Idols in plain sight, so that the rest of the tribe would immediately know when someone took a GIANT hunk of wood off the gates leading into camp. Heck, I wish they would do this every season – it always creates some drama and spices up the game by creating paranoia over who has it. This may have been the best season for idols ever, as James and his co-conspirator Todd load up on both idols but James follows up by taking the apple getting comfortable at the worst possible time.
There is no weak spots here: China rocks from the beginning and just keeps getting better, leading up to a stacked final 3 where all of the combatants had a real chance to win. In fact, the frontrunner going in ends up finishing third due to the performances of the top 2, which are so good they even shut up the most obnoxious of the jurors. Watching it feels like being in a courtroom almost, as incredibly skilled players go blow-for-blow explaining their games in their own unique styles.
That fireworks challenge at night is a jaw dropper – they need to do that again now that the show rocks out to 1080px.
DAMN!”
-Chicken
Like, she doesn’t deserve it just because, you know, she sucks at life.”
-Courtney
#7 – Palau (season 10)
The best challenges ever and two fascinating insights into human nature boost a one-of-a-kind season
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Survivor: PalauWith Palau you get the 2-for-1 special: two very different halves of the same season. The first half is the Greek Tragedy of Ulong, on paper the stronger and fitter tribe. Unfortunately, they find out you don’t play Survivor on paper, they play it on the island. Just three weeks into the show, Stephanie was on a beach by herself, struggling to survive on her own while coping with her own futility despite some incredible individual efforts in challenges and around camp. We all loved her the more for it.
After Stephanie finally fell and the Koror tribe finally had to pick itself apart, we arrived at the second big moment: the infamous Bob-Bob Buoys. For nearly half a day, friends Tom and Ian, having dominated the game from the start, stood on tiny disks bobbing in water for a guaranteed spot in the final 2. What follows is a moment that perfectly sums up what makes Survivor so gripping to watch and so hard to play: Ian grapples with what betrayal and lying to friends can mean beyond the game, and to what cost is winning the cold hard cash worth? Ian’s struggle to regain his integrity and peace with himself for hours on end provides a fitting climax to both the greatest challenge ever and one of the greatest seasons ever.
Speaking of challenges, Palau’s stand alone. Leaning into the military theme of the season, the challenge crew worked the environment and history into challenges like no other. I mean, they literally used a World War II wreck for a diving challenge. How sick is that! Also shoutout to the grueling challenge where tribes run in around a course trying to catch the other tribe, and the drowning simulator where you have to stay beneath a grate in the water while the tide slowly reduces the space you have to breath. Deliciously evil stuff from the challenge team.
They say you always remember your first, and this was mine. After catching a little bit of All Stars the year prior, this was the first season I watched in full, and it got me hook, line, and sinker. I can’t say it’s the best season, but it is certainly a must watch epic.
We can’t get a female alliance together because Caryn sucks”
-Katie
I’ll give up the million to get back your guys’ friendship.”
-Ian
#6 – Africa (season 3)
Survivor as the ultimate adventure peaks here
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Survivor: AfricaSurvivor pushes the contestants as far as they would ever go in this brutal drama just to survive 39 days; it’s title as the greatest adventure on television is cemented in the vast open savannahs of Kenya. Forget Fiji beach vacations; these 16 castaways were getting stalked by lions…at night! Just thinking of the logistical hoops they must have had to jump through to pull this off is nuts – they were literally a thin ring of thorn bushes away from all sorts of predators, and often came across all sorts of wildlife just going to the animal poop holes water source. I have no idea how they got approval for this whole idea, and I have no clue how no one had to get evacuated along way, but I’m glad they did. This is a season so concrete it’s buried at the bottom of the Hoover Dam.
Generational and political differences are openly explored; what I find most interesting is how the show’s editing leaves it up to the audience how they perceive the edgiest players instead of trying to make viewers feel a certain way. Think about characters like Big Tom, Lindsay, Frank, Lex, Clarence, Brandon, and Linda – who you are, what you believe, and your type of humor determines which are the heroes and which are villains. Few other seasons I can think of have this much nuance and you really get to know every character. Whether the casting for conflict is fair is a valid criticism; for example, is it fair that Brandon feels he is better off tanking his game to bring Frank down with him, who openly doesn’t respect him or his lifestyle? Two very interesting sides to one coin.
After two seasons with the same basic format, it was time to shake things up: the twist that started them all, the tribe swap. I’m sure this was groundbreaking at the time – sending 3 members of each tribe to the opposite side. The hard work you may have done to build friendships and get into a power position could evaporate in an instant, as it does here. I love it – it keeps players on their toes without going overboard. Suddenly, players need more than just a Plan A to succeed in the game.
The season revolves around the power and paranoia of one dude: Lex. How people relate and react to him determines their fates: Kelly’s snark, T-Bird’s deception, Big Tom’s subtle maneuvering, KJ’s apathy, and Ethan’s partnership with him, laying low and letting Lex take all the hits. Lex is fascinating to watch: he seems like a great guy who happens to take the game very, very personally. Once the merge hits and T-Bird throws a stray vote his way, Lex starts to make increasingly erratic and emotionally-charged decisions while dominating challenges, proving a difficult adversary for the rest to overcome.
When it’s me, you’ll know it. I couldn’t be more excited to be casting this vote. I never wanted you to win and now I hope you won’t. If this is the last vote I cast, then at least I got a vote for you, who I’ve always found not fun to be around!”
-Kelly
I’ve got a date with Frank! I’ve got a date with Frank!”
-Brandon
#5 – The Amazon (season 6)
A Battle of the Sexes leads to interesting results; a dude named Rob shatters the established norms of how to play
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Survivor: The AmazonThe Battle of the Sexes is interesting enough all on its own; add in brutal conditions, generational divides, hilarious characters, and some shocking blindsides and you get a spectacular show. And what a battle it was – despite much better living conditions, the highly confident and highly horny men’s tribe got rocked in 4 of the first 5 challenges. After the guys evened things up, a tribe swap allowed the genders to intermingle for the first time, and watching the energies shift when all-women or all-men groups became mixed is a real fascinating moment.
Straight up – this season is uproariously funny. I know the first couple of sexually-charged episodes don’t land for everyone, but they do for me! If not, there are so other iconic moments: Deena’s commentary on Shawna with men and Roger with women, the sagas of Joanna and the idol, Matt and his machete/sanity, and Butch and his firewood (RIP the Magic 8 Ball!), Heidi not reading the room, and most of what comes out of Rob’s mouth. It was all so wonderful.
The term “game changer” gets overused, but Rob C truly deserves it. The man became the first floater – constantly bouncing back and forth between alliances and using his earnestness, jokes, and likeability to recover from any hits he took for his many, many betrayals. No one had tried this up until this point; going ride or die with your tribe was the accepted way to play post-Borneo. Rob’s moves opened up new possibilities that plenty have taken and run with since. Unfortunately for him, he was just too good of a teacher to one of his pupils.
After watching Amazon, you will never view chocolate and peanut butter the same way. Bangarang!
I will take my clothes off for chocolate and peanut butter”
-Jenna
Why does he need the machete so sharp? I think he’s gonna kill us!
-Rob
#4 – Heroes Vs. Villains (season 20)
A worthy celebration of the first 10 years of the show and a tale of failed revenge
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Survivor: Heroes Vs. VillainsLike All Stars, the hype going in clocked in at about a 13 out of 10. Unlike All Stars, the season was a smash hit. Every elimination hurt knowing a legend was going out, but that just made the stakes feel even higher. There is no slow build either – right from the beginning we hop into a brutal challenge featuring several injuries and bared ta-tas and it just keeps getting better. The usual slow first couple episodes don’t exist here, as guns are blazing from start to finish and it’s just so much fun.
The one downside to coming right after Samoa is that this is still the Russell Hantz show for most of the season. If he’s your cup of tea, you are in luck! He’s not for me personally (I think he becomes unhinged to an alarming degree by season’s end), and that knocks this down a couple of slots for me. He had a massive advantage going in – he was the only player whose season had not aired when it filmed and thus no one knew what they were getting into. If they had, surely Tyson and JT would not have made the moves they did, and the whole season looks wildly different. Russell steals the show, at the expense of some other gems like Courtney (barely present at all), Colby and Jerri (still with sexual tension), and, heck, even Sandra for a good chunk of the show.
What a roller coaster the Heroes Tribe went on: they lose early and often, but just when the situation looks grim reel off a bunch of challenge wins to even things up going into the merge, with Sandra willing to flip. Just when it looked like they had salvaged the situation, they go full Spaceballs by accidentally pressing the self-destruct button and then find the cancel button is out-of-order. Despite falling by the wayside entirely by the final 4 (after some valiant eleventh-hour heroics from Colby and Rupert), it is the Heroes that get the last laugh by getting to essentially hand-pick the winner.
In a beautiful twist of irony, the winner gets the crown by virtue of having failed in their biggest move of the game. It’s amazing how it worked out – the Heroes basically vote as a unit for who they both like the most and as an apology for having not believed in her when they had the chance to make a move against Russell. The dramatic final immunity challenge and final tribal council are just overkill on top of an already bonkers season.
Tomorrow we make our apologies. Tonight we make our move.”
-Tom
Russell’s keeping me around because I’ll never get a single vote. But I don’t know about that!”
-Sandra
#3 – Tocantins (season 18)
A charming throwback; the perfect season to get a friend hooked on the show (It’s worked twice for me!)
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Survivor: TocantinsWe head away from the beach for the final time in a throwback season with a smaller cast, few twists, and a Final 2.
Tocantins is more comedy series than reality competition. The antics of “Assistant Coach” Tyson and “the New Jacques Cousteau/Symphony conductor/Accountant from Nebraska(?)/meteorologist/Last Samurai/Underhand ball tosser/poet/Last of the Mohicans/Dragonslayer/biggest fraud in the game/Chong Ran enthusiast/warrior/Amazonian explorer” Coach and how everyone reacts is pretty much the season. It was incredible. Tyson constantly roasting and toasting Sierra then getting outplayed by her was hilarious enough, but that only served as the appetizer to the main course: Coach going to Exile Island, AKA the greatest 44 minutes in the history of reality television. Limits were pushed. Disks may have ruptured. Iron was sharpened. Man became even more of a man. It was pure poetry.
Yet it was the story of an unlikely odd couple that triumphed: the city boy Stephen and the cattle rancher JT formed a wholesome friendship and alliance that lasted the game. They learned from each other and, honestly, balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses perfectly. Thanks to them and Taj, this season had plenty of heart too.
He’s not always the best at what he’s coaching. But he thinks he knows the most. He likes his voice to be heard and that’s what we all want. And need.”
-Tyson
With friend and foe we march to the battle plain.
Some to seek success. Others to seek fame.
We play with honor. For the love of this game.
And with armor or without, we will toil in vain.
So that someday, someone, somewhere, will remember our name.”
-Coach
#2 – Cagayan (season 28)
Just when you thought Survivor was past its prime, it drags you back in with this high octane, bonkers season that is played at such an intensity you might get whiplash
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Survivor: CagayanAn ending so improbable you have to see it to believe it follows an unmatchable run of insane blindsides and betrayals. Coming off the back of mostly lackluster seasons filled with returning players, an all new cast and a compelling theme based around the qualities people use to get ahead in life felt fresh. At the start, we didn’t know just how fresh.
Boy did they nail the three tribes: each one had enjoyable dynamics. The Brain Trust was too smart for their own good and couldn’t get along to the point their rice got dumped. Beauty School had the self-aware vanity of Morgan to go along with LJ’s understated straight man to some of the ditziness. The Brawnies got embroiled in a little popularity contest and got an early sneak preview of the Tony Experience.
Come merge time, the Khaos truly starts. One truly incredible 44 minutes of television features a race to burn the whole thing to the ground, leading to what I think is a double blindside?! I’m still not entirely sure. That begins a wild run of episodes in which both Tony and Kass create maximum destruction. Promises are broken, Llama is spoken, and even Morgan is awoken (for a little bit).
The end is something you couldn’t script – a surprise final 2 that worked out in the best way possible. Just when it looks like the Spymaster Tony had finally fallen, he pulled out his best trick for last. Straight up – his manipulation of Woo, with no idols or allies to hide behind, was like watching Michaelangelo paint the Sisteen Chapel. Love him or hate him, he kept the pedal to the floor at Final Tribal too, owning his scorched-Earth game while somehow remaining endearing. He faced some harsh questions too: how did he manipulate people without boobs was it worth lying on the grave of a loved one worth it to make it to the end?
Like a couple of other top seasons, Cagayan has a flavor for every palette. You want culture? We have a cute trip handing out goods in a village. You want comedy? The Beauty tribe debating chicken sex, Ninja Stealth Mode, and Spy Shacks do the trick. Shocking betrayals and high-level strategy? Just ask Sarah and Trish. Likeable underdogs, devious villains, and a goofy supporting cast? Cagayan has them all.
You kept men in your back pocket, and you did it without even having breasts! So, how did you do it?
-Morgan
I’m supposed to talk llama to you! ~Unintelligble llama noises~”
-Tony
#1 – Pearl Islands (season 7)
Quite simply, the Best
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Survivor: Pearl IslandsThree legendary characters and one helluva supporting cast combine to make peak Survivor. Everyone totally buys into the pirate theme and the gloves come off right away – “Pirate’s steal! Pirate’s pillage!”. Morgan and its uber-dramatic leader Savage rally from a massive hole, and, like the aforementioned Heroes tribe, almost take control of the game only to get kneecapped in the most brutal manner possible.
The Outcast Twist, in which up to two eliminated players had the chance to get back in the game at the merge, was both horribly unfair and worked perfectly (shoutout Skinny Ryan – Die Jerks!). We get an early glimpse of Final Boss Lil when she uses Savage’s own words to smite him and the Morgans. With the small matter of superior numbers settled, the Drake is running the show. America’s hero Rupert looks good for a hot minute, but so much for his dreams. With the tie-dye out of the way and world as his Pearl, famed art consultant and T-shirt purveyor Jonny Fairplay unleashes his big, evil scheme with his willing henchmen, Thunder D.
One simply cannot do the Big Lie justice in writing. It is still as wildly entertaining and ethically questionable as it was in 2004. And with it, Jonny Fairplay is cruising towards some fat stacks in his bank account. Only one problem – the king is only king until the Queen arrives. And she’s here (with a solid assist from aerobics baddie Lil).
The Pearl never lets up, and everyone adds a little something something to the proceedings. Even minor characters like Ryno get their moments to shine, as he has a fun little arc of becoming boys with Pelican Pete, getting voted out, and then calling Christa a b**** for some reason. The theme was cool, the challenges were a blast (even using some fun knockoff Pirates of the Caribbean music which I find hilarious), and it sticks the landing with an epic final immunity challenge and worthy winner.
I stole. I stole for the Drake”
-Rupert
She died, dude”
-Thunder D
I can get loud too! What the f***!”
-Sandra Diaz-Twine
That’s a Wrap, Folks!
I hope you enjoyed this journey down memory lane or if you’ve never seen an episode and are looking for a new show, this might be the answer
If anyone wants further dives into all things Survivor, I highly encourage you check out the Funny115, a collection of the best moments of the show and hilarious write ups by Mario Lanza.
How would you rank them? Any hot takes? Hit me up in the comments and let’s debate!
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I can’t believe you know all of these facts. What a memory you have. Keep up the great work.
Had to pull the locations and stats from Wikipedia, truth be told! It’s been a while for some them.
WOW Erik what a memory. I do not think I remember 40 years of anything. This was a (is) a great show but I think the Erik Ridley versions are better. Much more humor and intrigue. You must have been up day and night writing this blog.
Congrats on Yosemite position. I believe you are going to LOVE IT.
I meant for this to be something small, but it turned into a major project! Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed! Looking forward to it – should be an exciting Summer – hope you can come visit!
Jesus fuck! Someone get this man some advertising.
Ha thanks! All ears if you got any ideas!